38 weeks: We’re ready.
Every moment of every day I am distracted by the thought, no the hope, that labor is around the corner. I am ready, PB is ready, the house is ready. Now we are just waiting on bambino.
Bambino, your mamma and baba love you so much and are ready to meet you. Time to come out and play!
38 week belly pic:
Here is what Babycenter says about my little watermelon:
Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she’s over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you’ll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.
Wondering what color your baby’s eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she’s born with brown eyes, they’ll likely stay brown. If she’s born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she’s 9 months old. That’s because a child’s irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she’s born, but they usually won’t get “lighter” or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)
This week my dad came one a surprise visit from RI for my birthday. It was a really special day and night that I will never forget- my last one before becoming a mom. I am feeling pretty emotional about everything this week. All along I’ve talked about how I wish I could ask my mom stuff about her pregnancy and my brother and I as newborns. My dad gave me a great gift by remembering that my mom went early with both my brother and I (and that is why he was not back in the country yet). It is a little piece of information I never thought I’d be able to learn.
October 16th will mark the 10 year anniversary of my mom’s passing. It is just so strange to think that I will become a mom almost exactly ten years after saying goodbye to my own mom. All of the September 11th coverage brought back some very powerful memories of those last few weeks with my mom in home hospice, and I can’t help but feel sorry for myself. I try to be as strong as I can, but she will always be missing from my life and there is nothing I can do about that. Somehow writing it here makes me feel a little less alone about it.
One memory that came back to me was that of the hospice worker handing me a packet of paper’s outside my parents’ house. The top page read “the 5 stages of grief.” At the time I hadn’t even realized my mom was not going to eventually get better. As this memory seeped its way to the foreground of my brain I realized how ironic it is that the feelings I’m going through now mimic the stages of grief. I call them the 5 stages of waiting for labor.
Anyway…
I’ve had a few signs of labor, but nothing too special. This might be TMI for some of you, but at my appointment last week I had found out I’ve begun dilating and effacing. Maybe the walks are working? Right now I am at this week’s appointment and I hope to have made even more good progress. I have been walking as much as possible and bouncing on my exercise ball when my back hurts. I’m feeling fairly restless and both make me feel like I have some control.
One important thought to mention… While I really don’t want an epidural or any pain medication, I am not completely against it. The most important thing for me is to avoid a c-section. Also, I don’t want pain medication just because that is what everyone does. Any intervention I encounter should have a purpose that makes sense to me. If I need an epidural because labor is stalling for several (I mean several) hours and everyone agrees it would help me relax and progress better, then that is something I will consider. My ultimate goal is easy: avoid c-section. I am keeping an open mind about it all.
PB has been spoiling me. The other day he bought a mini watermelon and served me some in the watermelon itself! It was so sweet and so tasty. We can’t wait to be able to say “IT’S TIME TO GO!” Until that day comes he has been taking care of me in the greatest of ways.
My MIL came over yesterday and we had fun making cheese boreg. We made individual triangles that look gorgeous and I can’t wait to try them. I know they will taste good this time. I am forgoing the other freezer meals I was going to make. I realize that I just prefer fresh food too much and would rather eat a quick broiled chicken + steamed broccoli dinner over something from the freezer.
I’m not working that much anymore. I am trying to at least keep up with my emails, but I just feel so uncomfortable all day long. I don’t feel like talking either. I keep sending phone calls from people I love to voicemail because I just don’t have the energy. I feel bad but I also don’t. I am doing what I need to do.
After being unsure about a diaper bag for months I finally found one I love. PB and my dad treated me to the bag + wallet. I will use my Lululemon bag for every day diaper bag use and the Burberry one for church and other social functions. I’m in love with it!
Random facts of the week:
Overall weight gained: 37/38 lbs, with a gain of about 0.5 lbs in the last week
Stretch mark situation: not looking good. Luckily they are all below my belly button or on my hips. I can’t wait for them to fade since they look so angry right now.
Current cravings: I am feeling hungry a lot, but nothing really sounds good. Much like the beginning of the pregnancy I want simple flavors.
Current symptoms: difficulty sleeping, lots of trips to the bagno, sciatic nerve pain, cramping and lower back pain, excitement, anxiety, nesting like crazy
Stranger stuff: When we ran errands this weekend lots of people made comments on the bump. Most notable were the two ladies in Bed, Bath & Beyond who just HAD to know when I was due. When I told them the one woman said “damnnnn girl, I thought so because you are BIG!” She then asked if it was all baby. I said it was baby + ice cream. I crack myself up.
Labor dreams: 1. I heard a pop like a champagne cork popping and thought my water broke. When I woke up I realized it was just thunder.
Bambino kicks: strong but more like rolls. He is running out of room and tries to roll his way into more comfy positions. It is the one thing I will absolutely miss about being pregnant.
Oh and PS? I am now officially past the day I thought I’d have the baby.. which was yesterday.
Previous weeks:
**Belly pics here
Week 37
Week 36
Week 35
Week 34
Week 33
Week 32
Week 31
Week 30
Week 29
Week 28
Week 27
Week 26
Week 25
Week 24
Week 23
Week 22
Week 21
Week 20
Week 19
Week 18
Week 17
Week 16
Week 15
Week 14
Hang in there!!! So close! you will def know what is right for you in terms of pain management etc when youre in the moment. Keeping my fingers crossed for no c section
@Erica, Thanks for the crossed fingers! That is my ultimate goal- to avoid that for both bambino’s sake and my own.
The rest of us can’t wait to meet little bambino either! It’s so wonderful to watch you on this journey – and now you’re so close to the end!
@Chloe (In Fine Feather), Thank you! I hope he comes this weekend.
ADORE that diaper bag! nate was asking the other if, when we have kids, we can PLEASE get a diaper bag that doesn’t look like one. and something manly for him! i think yours looks perfect 🙂
@Heather (Heather’s Dish), They also have some bags made especially for guys. I think the brand is called diaper dude? Columbia makes one too.
You’re so close! It really sounds like the family visits were the perfect way to spend these past few days. I can only imagine how much this time must make you miss your mom. I’m sure she is with you all the time.
@Jamie, Thank you so much for your nice comment. The visit was exactly what I needed.
I love that diaper bag! It’s super cute! I can’t believe how close you are! Time really does fly by so quick! I feel like you just annouced that you were pregnant. 🙂
@Hope, Thank you! I was unsure about the bag when I saw it online, but fell in love in person. It’s hilarious because I normally am not a big Burberry fan!
I’m so glad your dad could give you a little insight! Hang in there! A c-section had never crossed my mind until they prepped me for it! Thank GOODNESS they got his heartbeat regular by shifting positions frequently, and I delivered him on my own 4 hours later. So, why I tell you this, is even if they start talking like it’s going to happen, try not to add your stress to a stressed baby, and you may pull through it. Good luck!
@Katy @ MonsterProof, Oh this is good knowledge to have. Thank you. I will tell my husband this so if it comes up he can remind me to not feel stressed out about it.
I know this is sort of weird coming from a stranger, but I can’t wait to see little Bambino for the first time. He is going to be such a stud with parents like that. I’ve really enjoyed reading all of your updates.
Hang in there – it’ll be here before you know it 🙂
@Lindsay @ Schnoodle Soup, It doesn’t sound weird at all! And thank you!
Good luck! Hope that labor comes soon for you. By the way, you are such a cute pregnant girl : )
@Amanda- The Nutritionist Reviews, Thanks! I’m glad to know hippo status suits me hahaha!
Hope your doctor gives you all kinds of “progressing” news at your appointment today! I’m due with my first in 7 weeks (omg!)… and I find myself more and more ready. My sister is due in 4 weeks with HER first as well, so it’s been fun to get a double heads-up as to what’s coming from following your blog and talking to her!
Don’t feel like you have to explain or defend your birth plan to anyone! It’s your baby and your body and we all know that in the end, it’s just a precious baby that matters. However you get there is up to you. Good luck with everything! Here’s hoping for an easy labor for all of us! 🙂
@Lydia, So fun that you and your sister are pregnant at the same time. These 7 weeks will fly by for you I bet!
I got good, but not great news on the progression front. Not too much of a change from last week, but I guess some change is better than none?
Good luck to you and your sister! Please share the news with me when you (both) give birth!
I was three centimeters dialated for weeks….I had my baby at 41 weeks by emergency c-section.
@Lily, A lot of women have shared similar stories with me. I wonder WHY they check for dilation at all if it doesn’t really mean anything? One friend was completely closed and gave birth naturally 10 hours later, another was dilated to a 2 for weeks and had to be induced. It doesn’t make any sense and is so frustrated.
Anyway, I hope everything went well for you. How old is your little one now?
Hello, Beautiful Mama.
I’m with you on the not knowing what to eat, and your approach to pain medication.<- love that laid-back mixed with know-what-you-want attitude!
I hope you get to meet your sweet baby boy soon. I'm excited to "meet" him, too!
@Sarah, Thank you! What have you been eating? Right now I’m eating very plain foods, but I’m bored!
I was thinking about you yesterday! I remembered you thought it would be Sept. 12. Hope you get to enjoy and savor the last few moments of quiet, but I am sure you can’t wait for the labor to begin!
@Marci, Oh yay! You announced your pregnancy!! Going to read your week 13 update now.
I thought it was the 12th, and again mother’s intuition is completely off. Boohoo!
I understand what you are saying about your mom not being there for the birth of your baby. My sister, who was my best friend, passed away almost 10 years ago (October 22)and it was very difficult for me not to be able to share that moment with her. But I knew in my heart that she was there with me. My daughter came 2 weeks early. She was born on my birthday (September 9)by c-section. Its not as bad as what one may think. I had no choice in the matter, I would not progress any further (stuck at 7 cm) and she was over 8.5 lbs and my health was being compromised. Just remember try and stick with your birth plan and everything will be just fine! Best of luck with your birth and I look forward to seeing pictures of your new addition.
@Lisa S., I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away October 16, 2001, a week before your sister. AND my birthday is September 9. Happy birthday to you.
One concern I have is making sure my children know all about my mom even though they will never get to meet her. How are you doing that with your daughter about her auntie? I framed a photo of my mom and plan on sharing stories, but I’m not sure what else to do.
Thank you for sharing with me.
@RhodeyGirlTests,
Happy belated Birthday to you!
It is sometimes difficult to talk to my daughter, who just turned 6, about my sister, mostly because she still doesn’t fully understand death. I have pictures around the house and she knows who she is. We also visit her gravesite, even though it is hard for me at times. You will be amazed what kids think about death. I remember my daughter was probably 2 when we returned from my sister’s gravesite and she proceeds to tell my husband that we had just visited her Aunt, “but everytime we visit, she is never home”. That still makes me smile thinking about that day. I feel that my daughter knows her Aunt just as much as if she were here. She is still apart of my daily conversations and my daughter asks questions about her. I sometimes feel my daughter acts just like my sister did or makes facial expressions like her. I think that your child will know your mom and actually feel close to her, even though she is not here physically. And she will live on through your children. You will find your own way of remembering your mom and explaining to your children what a wonderful person she was in. Just keep in mind that there is no wrong or right way of doing it, just as long as they know who she was and that she was loved and missed greatly.
I remember your mom very vividly, Sabrina, and I can only imagine how much you are missing her right now. I’m sure she would be thrilled that you turned out to be so beautiful and so strong.
On a lighter note, I love your comment about “baby and ice cream.” That’s totally what I’m going to say to people when I’m nine months pregnant. Catch ’em a little off guard!
@Hillary, Thank you so much Hillary. I really appreciate your comment.
Yay, the time is just around the corner! I am totally feeling it creep closer for me. I am working my 35th week! Love the diaper bag. I am thinking of getting a nontraditional one.
@Noelle, What kind of bag did you have in mind? Share links please!!!
Good luck with your last few weeks- do you feel ready yet?!
@RhodeyGirlTests, I just ordered a bag from Namaste. It is supposed to be the best faux leather stylish diaper bag. I will be writing a review. I think I am finally feeling alot more ready. She has been moving in my tummy like no one’s business so that makes me anxious to meet her.
I am still hoping to win the pool with Thursday haha. I can’t believe those women in Bed Bath said that to you. people amaze me. I love love love your response. And I love the bag. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My mother in law went through hospice with the support of our family and it was really hard. My mom is also alive but not well. I feel exactly the same way you do about not being able to share with them. But I also remember how many other women I and you do have to lean on and share with. Keep it up mom.
Great bag! Your MIL has some good taste! You look adorable, I hope the next time we hear from you, you’ll have your little man with you:)
Love the bag! I know the waiting is frustrating! I was to the date with Cole and a week early with Olivia, and on bed rest for weeks before both of them!
I would like to encourage you to change your thinking about a c-section. I understand your feelings, but I’m afraid that if you stick to avoiding a c-section as your ultimate goal, you’re going to feel like you’ve ‘failed’ at labor somehow if it actually happens. Like Lisa said, ultimately, if you need a c-section, you have no choice and it is for the health and safety of both you and the bambino!
When I had Olivia, I attended a VBAC class. It was filled with women who somehow felt that they didn’t have the ‘whole experience’ because they delivered by C-section. I stand adamantly on the other side of the fence. I labored for 14 hours with my son, and without a c-section, he would have died. He was stuck behind my pelvic bone and wasn’t budging!
I couldn’t relate to the women in the VBAC class at all – because I didn’t feel cheated out of the birth experience, or feel like I had failed in any way. I wanted a VBAC only because my recovery was horrible (a story for another day) — but in the end, I am thankful for two healthy children and whatever it took to get them here!
Lately, I’ll eat leftovers even if they don’t sound good (because usually I can’t decide on anything anyway.)
I’ve been trying new recipes- rustic pizza, soups, grain salads. I had a Secret Ingredient Party on Saturday, and that was wonderful- I only had to make a couple of things and got to eat everyone else’s cooking.
Hm, I’m no help :(.
Sabrina,
My dad passed away five years ago this coming December, and I had my daughter a year and a half after his passing. Even still I get sad sometimes because she will never meet him, but I assure myself (daily) that she will “know” him. I talk to her about him, and there are pictures in my home. One thing I had done was take a lot of his old clothes (he was a multi-marathon runner and traveled a lot) and made a quilt out of it. It makes me smile whenever my daughter asks to spread that quilt out on the floor and tell her stories about my dad.
The other thing I’m actually working on now is a book for her all about my dad. I’m making it through Shutterfly (you can also use Snapfish) and have included stories, things he used to say, and lots of pictures. I plan on giving it to her for Christmas this year and hope it makes her know him just that little bit more.
There isn’t a doubt in my mind that your son will know about your mom, because I imagine you will make that a priority in your lives.
Best of luck these few days and good luck with your delivery!
@Maureen, Thank you so much Maureen. I love the idea about a photo book with stories and such. Maybe I will do that!
You make me melt! I cannot wait the arrival of your sweet bambino! The week-to-week journey with you has been incredible!
I know your mother will be in the delivery room with you and everything will go smoothly <3
I lost my mom on 9/11 and often read your blog and relate to what you say. I admire your candor in going through this pregnancy. Like you, my mom will never see me get married, have babies and has missed out on a variety of other important life moments. I always worry that big events will be overshadowed by her NOT being there. I love that you share the good and the bad feelings, it makes me feel less alone in mine. I am sure you mom is watching over you. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
@Ellen, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with me, it makes me feel less alone too.