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Sleep, squeaks, and hunger.
At six weeks old bambino has been forced into his crib. We had given up swaddling, but took it up again when we moved him from the infant seat to the cosleeper. If he is sleepy enough he doesn’t notice and he sleeps really well, but if he realizes he’s swaddled he will kick and punch until everyone in the house is up.
A few nights ago he was in his cosleeper swaddled and was squeaking a bit. In his sleep he was trying to move his arms and realized he was trapped in the miracle blanket. When I finally realized what the squeaking was I looked over at his cosleeper and he was stuck in it on an angle. Our boy is just so tall! He had squeaked himself into a sideways position and was completely stuck. I felt horrible.
That was the end of the cosleeper.
So now we have moved on to the crib. The first night went really well. He woke up every 3 hours or so. I nursed him to sleep, let him lay there for 20 minutes, then gently put him back in the crib. We slept in the same room as him since we have the bed in there, so every squeak woke me up. I still think he’s too young to be in there alone though. Thoughts on that?
Here’s the issue with the wake ups- was he hungry? I don’t know how to tell. When is your baby considered awake? When I am supposed to pick him up? He wasn’t crying any of the times. The first time his eyes were still closed but he had been squeaking quite a bit and ate really well. The second time his eyes were open but he was just laying there (after 5-10 minutes of squeaking trying to bust out of the swaddle). The third time he really recognized his arms were trapped and freaked out. All three times I immediately nursed him.
Now I am wondering if that is what I should be doing? Is he hungry or is he waking up because he realizes he’s swaddled or for some other reason? If I don’t swaddle him his startle reflex wakes him up almost right away. What do I do then? Give him a pacifier? Rock him? Let him lay there until/unless he cries? I immediately pick him up when he makes any noises (squeak etc), but maybe that is the wrong way to handle it.
Bathtime doesn’t really make him sleepy. In fact I think it makes him more awake.
Rocking doesn’t always work, but humming and a pacifier (or a finger) seem to do the trick. We do always hold him until he is completely sound asleep before putting him down. If we put him down drowsy he immediately wakes up. I think he might be too young for that still.
Last, what do the other nursing mothers do in regards to the middle of the night? If your baby is sleeping through the night do you set an alarm to pump or just wait until your baby (or chest) wakes you up?
Who knew there would be so many questions in regards to sleep! At least I have the nursing thing down. We were on a great 3 hour schedule until this week where he is eating every 2 hours in the morning and at night and 3 hours in the middle of the day. I think he’s going through a growth spurt. He’s almost 7 weeks old.
42 Responses to “Sleep, squeaks, and hunger.”
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i have some friends who, after a few nights of the same thing, put their baby boy in his crib in another room. they SWEAR that everyone sleeps better that way, and although it was really hard at first it is working great for them now. also, the same friends read Babywise (which i know is controversial for a lot of people), followed the methods for a week and now their boy sleeps 8-9 hours a night. i have started reading the book and it makes sense to me to follow the methods loosely, so maybe that might help?
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Hey girl! I wait until she cries and then i feed her. Right now she goes about 4-5 hours eats then another 4. Seems to be working well! We have her sleeping in the psck n play in our room
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Research shows you CANNOT spoil a baby under 12 weeks…that you tend to them any way you can…which is why it is so exhausting. Do whatever you can to get him to sleep and when he is 12 weeks…then you revisit it.
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alison Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 8:16 am
@Kate,
I totally agree with this!
Sabrina, you might not believe this now, expecially in your exhausted state, but someday he will sleep soundly through the night. My baby, who is almost 10, did not sleep through the night for a very long time and I questioned everything I did. I nursed her on demand and eventually she settled into her own schedule. Hang in there! Follow your instincts. Pick him up and nurse him if that is what you think he needs.
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alison Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 8:16 am
@alison, ack, that should say eSpecially. Sorry.
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Matt Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 8:37 am
@Kate, I would go as far to say that twelve week number is modest, I am of the opinion that it is even much older than that. My wife and I still co-sleep with our 12 month old. Everyone just has to go with what they’re instinct tells them. If I were a tiny baby, I probably wouldn’t want to sleep on my own – it’s probably a very scary scenario to wake up at that age in the dark by themselves. I would imagine a little bit of panic would set in when they realize they’re mom/dad is gone.
There is a lot of societal pressure to have your baby sleeping through the night on their own very soon after birth. The reality is that babies are going to sleep how they’re going to sleep. At some point they will sleep all night on their own, they won’t be co-sleeping at fifteen years old. This time is short while they’re this small, I say make the most of it and don’t fret about when things SHOULD be happening, just enjoy that things are happening.
That’s just my two cents, I’m not intending to push a method on anyone.
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RhodeyGirlTests Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 8:50 am
@Kate, I agree that I can’t spoil him at this age.
Here’s the issue:
I don’t mind him waking up in the night, but I also know he needs his rest. That is where I am puzzled. If I pick him up and he wasn’t actually awake then I’ve woken him up and it takes us a long time to get him back to sleep. However, when he does actually wake on his own I pick him up, immediately nurse him, and he goes right back to sleep. I don’t want to interrupt a sleep cycle if the squeaking was actually in his sleep. It’s so hard to tell!
PS- Matt last night I actually slept in a different room from him (15 feet away). I feel he is too young for that, but we kept waking each other up with our movements (his squeaks, my tossing and turning). He slept really well last night (3+2+3+1) so I think we need to continue with that. It’s really hard on me though! He seemed fine. Not a single tear all night (until he peed on himself while I was changing a dipe)
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Kate Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 9:32 am
@RhodeyGirlTests,
I actually didn’t take the baby out of our room until she was three months…BUT we did have an issue with every little noise waking her up, but we had a window AC unit running which created a noise buffer along with the white noise machine.
Weissbluth talks very little about babies and sleep before 3 months because I think it is so variable and every baby is so different. Try different things and see what works. I’ll admit I let my baby cry a bit when she was little because I needed a break. BUT I didn’t want her crying in the night with my husband sleeping who has to get to work in the morning. Then, I did whatever I could to quiet her. A baby that little has no self soothing skills. Consolidated sleep is important, but I would get it anyway you could. BUT some babies are just not going to be able to do that. Don’t worry about the pressure of what other mothers are doing…some are lying and some just have babies that are awesome sleepers. Even though you feel like you’ve had Raffi for forever, he is still so little.
@Matt….agree with you 100%…the research was really more about teaching the baby bad habits etc. NOT sleeping alone
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Matt Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
@RhodeyGirlTests, I hear you on that one… If the result of whatever you’re doing is him getting more sleep, then it’s probably a good thing! With out son, we found that he slept longer and better when he was with us in bed, so that’s what we did.
I think as long as you’re well-intentioned (and obviously you are), you’ll end up doing what’s best for your baby. Good luck with everything and enjoy it all!
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Love the little baby mohawk.
Have you heard of Moms on Call? I’ve heard that program works really, really well for some people. Might be worth researching to see if it is something you could try!
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He is so adorable! My little miss is six weeks old and it seems like she is starting to get some sort of sleep routine- she’s been doing 4-5 hour stretches (though this past night it was almost eight hours- I don’t think that will last!) At any rate, if she sleeps over three hours, I definitely don’t wake up to pump. My boobs might hurt a little more but I think pumping when she isn’t eating could potentially lead to oversupply issues? It makes sense if you want to build a stash but if I were you I would just sleep!
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You can’t really do any sleep training until 4 months so I never really did much before then. I think around the 2 or 3 month mark with our 2nd and 3rd I did try to start weaning them from getting rocked to sleep, but ONLY if they were receptive to it (which means that probably 90% of the time I still ended up rocking them to sleep). We used nuks for all 3 kids so I would first try giving them back their nuk if they woke up and keeping a hand on their belly and either pat them or “wiggle/rock” them. Sometimes this worked, others no.
For during the night, I think I would try doing that and then rocking and if they were still crying/upset I would nurse. If I knew they were going through a growth spurt, sometimes I would just skip all the other stuff and just feed, unless it had only been an hour or so. But I think in general, I would let them go a little longer after the initial squeaking and noise making before I jumped up.
Each kid we had stayed in our room longer and longer (I think around 6 weeks, 2 months, 4 months), but regardless of the age, it was definitely true that everyone slept better. I think everyone wakes each other up with just basic moving around in bed.
Overall, just try different things out. Babies are nothing but trial and error. But as a general rule, when changing up a routine or pattern, give the child at LEAST 4-5 days to adjust before deciding if it’s working or not. It’s a frustrating 4-5+ days, but it’s generally true.
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Hi Sabrina,
My husband and I followed the BabyWise method (with our own spin) and baby was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. Most people (I find) who consider the book controversial have not actually read the book, but are going off of things that they have heard. It’s actually very practical advice and I credit it for our little one being on such a good schedule. It is a bit difficult to implement in the beginning, as you have to be very diligent about maintaining a eat, play, sleep routine (which is easier said than done with a sleepy newby!), but I really do think that it works.
As for when to feed baby…I would say that you should not feed him just because he is awake. Sometimes, babies will just wake up and lie peacefully there or rustle around a bit before settling back to sleep. Just because he is awake, I would not feed. If, however, he is crying and clearly seems distressed, he is likely hungry, so follow your instinct and feed him then.
As far as when he does start sleeping through the night, you don’t need to worry about waking up to pump, unless you are just so uncomfortable that you have to. Remember, breastfeeding is supply and demand, so if you pump, your body is going to continue to think that it needs to produce milk for a middle of the night feeding, so the sense of fullness/engorgement in the middle of the night won’t go away. For the first few nights baby sleeps through the night, you probably will wake up VERY full (even leaky!) but after a few days, maybe a few weeks, even, your milk supply will level off and re-regulate so that you won’t feel that sense of discomfort and over-fullness.
Good luck with everything! I am sure that you are doing great! Just follow your instincts and do what feels right. There is no “right” way to do anything. At the end of the day, it is about what works for you, your hubby and your baby!
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Lauren B. Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 11:13 am
@Lauren B., oh and ps, we started sleeping her in her own crib at 3 weeks!
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When my daughter (5 weeks) wakes up in the middle of the night and makes noises I check her first. Sometimes her eyes are still closed so I leave her alone. It’s when she opens her eyes and starts crying that I first check her diaper (she cannot stand being wet) and then nurse her. I’ve come to notice that she grunts and makes noises that I thought were her waking when she is in fact still sleeping and I assume dreaming.
We plan on moving her to her own crib soon. We have a pack and play with a newborn napper in our room for now but her little noises are keeping us up to and my husband is in the Army so his wake up call is rather early.
I don’t think you are doing anything wrong – I also don’t think you can spoil a newborn. BUT you need sleep too in order to provide your child with as much love and affection and energy as possible during the day.
Something I did read was to put a breast pad or something with your scent nearby in the crib so he can still smell you and find comfort in that.
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I think if he cries at all you should feed him but otherwise try to ignore him and maybe he will go back to sleep. I think my problem that ended in Mia having really bad sleep issues was that I responded to every peep. At this age there are so many changes it’s hard to know if they’re hungry or not. I didn’t feel comfortable withholding feedings until Mia was almost 5 months. At that point I was comfortable knowing she couldn’t need to nurse more than twice a night, but right now, who knows? Also, I wouldn’t pump – I would catch up on sleep! Unless you are really engorged, your body will quickly change it’s supply to meet the new demand. It’s probably too early to leave him alone in the room but I also think the recommendation of 6 months in the same room is crazy – babies are way too aware for that. I think 4 months is a good time because that’s when the risk for SIDS decreases significantly.
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I still woke up to pump months after my daughter was STTN (at 11 weeks she started sleeping 8:30-7, now at almost 11 mths it’s 630-7). Anyway I had supply issues and that was the only reason I did wake to pump — to keep my supply up.
I think they wake for comfort at that age and sleep training really isn’t effective til the 3 mth mark, in my experience. I mean, Maya started STTN when we had her on a regular nap schedule but I think anything earlier might have been too soon. We only kept her in our room that first month and she loves her crib now. We stopped swaddling around the 3-mth mark; she wanted OUT and we just draped a light blanket over her back (the horror, I know!).
I pumped and nursed and gave formula so I was able to guesstimate her intake … otherwise, it IS hard to know–waking for comfort or hunger.
Maya STILL sometimes makes little noises in her sleep … totally normal. It doesn’t mean there’s always something wrong, but in the beginning, we did go to almost every sound out of fear!
I say get as much sleep as you need–and don’t feel bad about sleeping through a pump. It sounds like you are only nursing, right? Your body will adjust. My biggest mistake was waking to pump when I really didn’t need to.
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Wow, I feel like a terrible mom. My daughter is 3 weeks old and she has been sleeping in her crib since the day we came home from the hospital. We have an Angelcare monitor that also monitors movement (including small movements like breathing) and an alarm will sound if she hasn’t moved in 20 seconds. Her room is only a few steps away and I usually wake up to her squeaks before the monitor even picks her up. The 1st week was hard sleeping just because we were scared, but we have been sleeping great since.
I had been waking her to eat every couple of hours until this week. Now I wait until she is fussing to wake her. If it has only been an hour or 2, I let her sleep. But if it’s been 3+ hours, I will nurse her. She wakes up 1-2x each night so I think it is working well.
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I don’t think 6 weeks is too young to be in his own crib. We made the transition at 4 weeks from bassinet in our room to his crib in his own room. He didnt really have any problems and didn’t know the difference. We have a video monitor and i had a lot of anxiety when i first moved him watching the monitor and unable to sleep but its all psychological for the mother, and after a few days you get used to it and the sounds they make. i would say during the first few months you probably will end up having to wake up about every 3-4 hours at night to nurse, and it is hard because they are so young and get sleepy when nursing, you really have to try to keep them awake (push their butt if they fall asleep nursing, blow in their face, etc) to make sure they eat enough during that night feed. I would let him move around/make noise for a few minutes and see if he went back to sleep (especially if it was only 2 hrs or so), and sometimes he would. I think you don’t need to go in to see him immediately but definitely if after a few min hes still awake hes probably hungry (you should know his eating schedule). i actually followed the baby whisperer method with tanking up at bedtime (cluster feeding) and then he would wake up 2 times a night. eventually around 2 months he started to sleep longer stretches like 5-7 hrs which felt amazing. you sound like you are doing the right thing, don’t second guess yourself too much, as long as the baby is happy and you are happy i think you are doing the right thing. every baby is different and will appreciate different soothing methods. my baby was swaddled and tolerated it ok but he is long and so it was hard for him to be comfortable with his legs and i had to start to unswaddle after mayb 1-2 months? he also used the pacifier to fall asleep but has outgrown that and uses his thumb. bambino is adorable, and i love his fauwhawk!!!
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Hi Sabrina,
Our boys were born on the same day (I think) – September 23, my little guy at 10:36 pm. We are going through a lot of the same issues so I don’t really have any advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone! And yes, I think they are going through a growth spurt this week, I was up every two hours the other night and there has been a lot of fussing and extra feeding the past few days! Good Luck
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Honestly there is no right answer. It’s what works best for you and your situation. My first (twins) slept in our room in pack n play for three months. I nursed at night till they slept through and pumped 1x at night to try and increase supply for two and bc I was going back to work at 4.5 mos. no night pumping after that. They were out of swaddle and into pajamas also at 3 mos and safe to be in crib.
This new singleton, I pumped from day one bc she too was a slow nurser and we give a bottle of milk at bedtime so she gets filled up more than if I nursed 2-3 times. But she is still in our room at 4.5 mos because she can’t sleep without being swaddled. Not safe. She also had colds so we’ve put off trnsitioning out of swaddle so she could get her sleep and get well.
Apparently most babies reach an age where they are big enought to sleep all the way through without being fed. 13-14#? But some would argue this too. With our twins, we did a very modified CIO for boy after girl slept through by herself but I knew they were getting 30-40 oz during day because I had scale. And twins do seem to sooth each other and we definitely needed the sleep with them. Good luck figuring it out!
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At this age I think he’s hungry. He’s not at the stage of really understanding the cause and effect of “I cry, mommy comes, I eat, I get rocked and a snuggle.” I would nurse if he were crying, but not aware if I were you! I’m a big advocate of letting them learn to fall asleep on their own in the middle of the night if they wake up, which I started early with Aaron to avoid crying it out later on.
I never set an alarm to pump. I dealt with being engorged because once he began to sleep through the night, pumping just made me produce more milk, so I hurt, so I pumped-it was a vicious cycle. I stopped pumping and began to sleep comfortably through the night as well!
Also, about the crib, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with! I know people who put their babies in the crib in their own room the day they got home. Do whatever feels best and right for you and PB
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We have always let Bronwen fuss a little bit in her crib before going to her. Usually she would just fall back to sleep, but if the fussing increased to something more, we would go get her. I would guess that if Raffi hasn’t eaten in 2-3 hours that he’s probably waking to nurse. As you said, he’s been eating a lot more and it sounds like he’s going through the 6-week growth spurt. Bronwen showed signs that she was ready for the “put to bed when drowsy” stage at about 3 months. But, before that, we had to rock her to sleep. We would try putting her down awake and it wouldn’t work, but one day it did, so we just kept trying and gradually she started to fall asleep on her own more and more. Just follow cues and use your mama instincts – they are better than any book or advice we can give
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Our little one is almost 8 weeks old and I swear I have asked all of these questions and then some. I am pretty sure I have read every article there is online about sleeping, eating, and you name it and pretty much end up as confused as I was to start. I think the bottom line is you really have to figure out what works for you and your baby and just continue to do that for your own sanity and so baby is comfortable.
We had our little one sleeping in her own room after about 3 weeks and honestly it was the best thing for all of us, she has slept much better, as have we. We have our monitor on at all times, but to be honest I can hear her little squeaks from down the hall anyway, so half the time I don’t really even need to rely on that. I have to swaddle her even for naps though (which she has been taking in her swing) otherwise she will wake herself up almost immediately. I know many say not to let them sleep in a swing or whatever, but honestly it is working for us and if she is napping I’m all for it. I will worry about the transition at a later point.
Where I have been struggling is she could honestly sleep all day if I let her, so I have to wake her every 3 hours to eat, which many also say not to do, to “never wake a sleeping baby” in other words. However, if I don’t wake her, she will be up every 2-3 hours at night, and I prefer her to sleep her longer stretches then. Some might say I am being too structured, but again that is what is working for us and when I do that she will sleep from 8-2 and 3-6, which gives me at least 6-7 good hours of sleep myself.
I think the bottom line is you are a great momma and whatever feels best for you, is great!
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My little one sounds a lot like yours when it comes to sleeping. She co-slept with us in a Rock and Play swaddled until she was 3.5 months old. She was quite the squirmer and needed to be swaddled to stay sleeping.She would get up every 2-4 hours to eat. I knew she was hungry when she cried. She is a beast when she is hungry. At 3.5 she grew out of the rock and play and I knew she needed a bigger venue to squirm. We did the crib with the swaddle and white noise machine. We did first put down in crib. She got up to eat 3-4 hours later. 2nd put down co-sleep with us in rock and play. We did this for about a week to transition everybody involved. It was very hard for me not have her near me. After a few weeks she did the crib all by herself. We made a very natural transition. Did not force it and did what we felt she needed.
Nursing and pumping at night. I set my alarm once she started sleeping through the night to pump at 2 am. I needed to at first because 1. I needed the milk for the next day while I was at work and 2. The leaking that would occur if I didn’t annyoyed me. I was able to eventually able to stop at 7-8 months. Now at 11 months I can get through the night without needing to pump. I could write you a whole book of my nursing stories but I hope this little bit at least helped.
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My daughter is nine weeks – your story sounds familiar. She doesn’t cry at night, but wakes up with little noises and movements. They usually mean one of two things…she’s working her way up to nursing, or she’s just “playing” a bit before dozing off again. Impossible to tell which is which from the get-go, so I’ve taken to allowing her a few minutes (usually five or ten) before I intervene. We co-sleep in the same bed, and so I usually just put a hand on her chest to see if that helps her get back to sleep (something about the pressure in lieu of a swaddle). My suggestion for not bringing on the startle reflex while avoiding the swaddle is to physically use your own body to reign in the arms and legs, and literally lie on top of your son until he falls asleep (not full body weight, of course). Keep your face right next to his, and make shhh or whirling noises.
I’d be interested in sharing baby info, since ours are so close in age – feel free to email me!
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Hi Sabrina,
I am due 11/11/11 so I’m reading Babywise and plan to try the method when my baby girl is born. Lots of my friends have used Babywise to get their baby sleeping better and eating well. I’m not sure what people find controversial with the method. As a mother, it’s best to understand all of your choices and adapt them to what’s right for you. The Babywise method makes a lot of sense.
As far as what you’re dealing with at night, the Babywise method would tell you to pick him up only after you know he’s distressed. If he’s just waking up but content, then just let him fall back asleep. They actually mention that there are two sleep cycles for a baby, an active one and a passive (?) one. Passive is where they’re sleeping peacefully, active is one they’re fussing/squirming/squeaking. They transition through these cycles about every 30 minutes.
I’d definitely suggest you pick up Babywise. It’s a short read and you can take from it some things that might be useful for you.
Good luck!
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We still aren’t in the crib and don’t know when we will be, to be honest. I’m in no hurry, though.
As for pumping, when Hailey started sleeping through the night, my engorged boobs would wake me up and I’d pump a little to relieve them so I could go back to sleep. I know people say ‘don’t pump’ because it will tell your body to make more milk, but I didn’t have a choice- it hurt! Now I’m able to sleep through the whole night without pumping (yay!), even though they are still pretty rock hard when I wake up.
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With my first I would get her up at her squeaks to feed her. It was easier in the short run to do this because she would eat in a sleepy state and fall right back to sleep. But it screwed me over in the long run and we had to do cry it out later on. With my second (13 weeks) I actually moved her to her crib at 6 weeks because she was just so darn grunty while she slept. Half the time I’d get up and get ready to feed her and then I’d notice her eyes were still closed, she was passed out, but just making noise. So i moved her to the crib but we had an angelcare monitor. I don’t think my heart/nerves would have let me put her in her own room if i didnt have that reassurance. After she was put in her crib, I ignored the grunts and only went into her room if i heard cries. We also have a video monitor. Right away she started sleeping 7-9 hours straight. two weeks later she was sleeping 10 hours straight. She hated being swaddled when she was first born, so I’d wait until she was asleep then swaddle her so her flailing arms didnt wake her. She now gets happy when shes swaddled because she knows shes about to get fed and put to sleep. We also do a loose babywise schedule of sleep, eat, play, repeat. At first I’d have to keep her in my arms for her to nap so i made sure she would stay sleeping for long enough until her next feeding time (roughly 3 hours apart). I sooo wish i would have done all this with my first. My second is SUCH a happy baby because she is so well rested. And I am soo happy because I am well rested!
And honestly, i believe you can “spoil” a baby. Well maybe not spoil but they know. They know if they cry, they will be picked up. Which is ok, they should be attended to quickly. But its also ok to let them cry while you finish dishes, shower, etc so they learn they won’t be picked up EVERY time and it helps them learn to self soothe (which is crucial to sleeping through the night). Sorry to write you a novel (i have never even commented before) but i am so amazed at how well my 13 week old sleeps (10-11 hours a night) that I had to try and give you my info!
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We are considering moving to the crib this weekend, so that we can all sleep better. I still get up with him every 3ish hours through the night, and I feed him each time. My issue is knowing when he’s hungry, and when he’s fussy for some other reason. I feel like my solution is always to nurse him, but I know that doesn’t solve everything. This is so CONFUSING! Hang in there, mama.
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Hi Sabrina! It sounds like you are doing a FANTASTIC job. Thanks for asking all of your questions because I enjoy reading through the comments and learning for when my husband and I are in the same boat.
It is interesting to see such a wide variety of opinions, and from all the reading I’ve been doing, it seems like the best answer is whatever is right for YOU and YOUR BABY. Every parent and child is different, so it seems like you have to go with what feels right to you. Of course, basing your decisions on expert advice is always a good idea. I’ve always planned on having our baby in the room with us, in her crib, for the first 6 months because that’s what I’ve read to do. I just know I would freak out about having her in a separate room and I would end up sleeping worse because of it. But ask me again in 2 months and my opinions may have changed. 
You’re doing great, and he is so precious!
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I’m only half way thru the 0 to 3 month video series on momsoncall.com and it seems to have the answers to a lot of the questions you’re asking. (As mine is not here yet there is no way I’m offering advice, ha!ha!) Their whole purpose is to get the baby on a sleeping/feeding schedule asap. If you read blueeyedbride.com she swears by them…. Good luck!!!
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Hey girl I wish I could give you some advice but i am no expert
But I will say I am prayong ofr your adventure as a new mother!
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Never wake a sleeping baby at night!!!!! At least that is what I was told from the very beginning. My little guy is seven months and one day old and he has been in his own crib in his room since he was 10 days old. He squeaks and peeps and shrieks while he is sleeping and he just kept us up. We have a monitor in our room turned very low and we can hear his noises when they get really serious. Although we have some random tough nights, since about two weeks he been on a night schedule of feeding at 9 or 10, midnight or 1 a.m., and 3:30 or 4:30 then up for the day around 6:30. We follow Babywise and it has been a lifesaver. Obviously there are days we have to adjust his schedule when he has a tough night or day but so far so good.
The biggest mistake I was told I could make is pick up my little one EVERY TIME HE cries. Babies have to learn to self soothe so they can fall back to sleep in the night when they wake. This past week we have been experimenting with getting him to sleep longer periods at night be letting his cry for 5 minutes to see if he is really awake or just fussing. 75% of the time he cries hard for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep for half hour to 45 minutes. He has gradually been increasing time between feedings and I hope that continues.
Oh, we also swaddle and he hates being put in it but is ok once he’s in and snuggled.
So that’s all I know! I am learning as I go just like you!!! It’s the toughest job I have EVER had.
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Kristine Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 11:02 pm
@Kristine, Our little guy is seven WEEKS and a day NOT seven months…..can we say sleep deprivation??
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If he’s sleeping don’t wake him. wait until his eyes are open and he’s awake, awake before picking him up to nurse. I always changed Ella’s diaper before nursing her. Sometimes that’s all she wanted. When she was about 8 weeks old I would offer her the pacifier before I picked her up because sometimes she just needed to be soothed. If she was actually hungry, she’d spit it out or not take it at all. That’s when she started sleeping 5-6, then by 10 she was up to 7-9.
Now she sleeps 10-12 per night. I don’t pump in the middle of the night because I don’t want to encourage milk production at that time of day. The first few weeks I’d use my hand pump just until I was comfortable, not until empty, then go back to sleep. Now I can sleep through it for the most part because my body has adjusted. I still pump before bed and if she’s not awake when I get up for work, before I get in the shower, so that it doesn’t leak out.
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My baby girl (first baby) just turned 5 weeks yesterday and I have many of the same issues/questions you do….but one thing I’ve found is that when she does her little “wakey” sounds at night, it is a good idea to wait a few minutes to see if it’s ramping up…if it starts to become more frequent and intense, I’ve discovered it means she’s hungry but hasn’t woken up yet. Her light sleep is the best time to nurse (for me). This way she doesn’t get so aggressive and thus, lots of air bubbles (a major burping and crying session afterwards when I”m sleepy!), but she is still able to nurse at a good clip and with purpose. I’m sure you know what I mean! I’m doing on-demand with both feeding and naps/sleeping, so I don’t have any advice on that…but it seems to be working out fine…she wakes on her own usually every 3–4 hrs at night, but lately it’s been every 1–2 (and I think a growth spurt is also to blame, based on the sleepers she’s suddenly too long for!). Just my 2 cents…no spoiling a newborn and I’d nurse him before he ramps up, like you’re doing. Waiting till they are already to the point of crying just seems counter-productive to me. Good luck and hang in there! If you’re determined to be exclusively breast feeding (I am)…sleep deprivation is just part of the package. It’ll get better, they all say!
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Something to keep in mind is that breast milk can digest as little as one hour. With him being so young I’d say he is hungry. I always try to cluster feed at night to hold off my for month old so maybe try that? Its so hard to know when they are truly awake but its also hard to not respond right away! You will start to recognize the sounds of true waking.
We put my son in the crib at 4 weeks and we all slept better. Do what feels right!
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Biggest advice I can give is to trust your instincts and not worry about what you “should” be doing. When my son was about 4 months old I started sleeping with him in bed with me, cuddled right next to me. He wakes up every few hours, I barely wake up, nurse him, fall back asleep. We both get alot more sleep this way because we just barely wake up throughout the night. For awhile I was feeling very guilty about this arrangement. People told me that it was unsafe, or that the baby would never learn to self soothe. But after doing some research I found a lot of support for this type of cosleeping for nursing mothers and babies. I’m not saying it’s right for everyone, but that it’s right for us so we go with it. Give your baby what you think he needs and what is comfortable for you. Don’t worry whether you’re doing it “right”!
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Every baby is different, so obviously take all advise with a grain of salt. My kids wake up several times a night, they usually squawk a bit, move around, then fall right back to sleep. We bottle feed breastmilk to my son so it gives me a really good idea of what he eats and how much (since nursing my daughter is a hard to tell since I think half the time she uses my nipple for a pacifier haha) but he started eating less and less when we got up with them for the little squawks and grunts so we started waiting for cries. When we did that, we noticed they only ate once at night (usually between 2 and 3) and then they were fine until 6 or 7am. After doing that for a week or 2, they started eating less at the 2am, and now they’ll sleep from about 8pm-5am. Sometimes they still wake up for the 2-3am feeding, especially if they didn’t nap or eat well during the day, but USUALLY they sleep through the night. So that’s kind of how we cut back on nightly feedings and reacted to their nightly wake ups. They still wake up, I hear them from time to time, but they usually just mess around for a little bit then fall right back to sleep. Sometimes if they wake up at 2 or 3 I’ll give them their pacifier, if they go right back to sleep, I know they’re not really hungry, if they spit it out and start to cry, they’re serious and I get them up and feed them. So just how we handled night feedings and they are growing, seem happy, and seem to be getting enough food so I’m a-ok with getting 6 or 7 hours straight of sleep! haha My chest has gotten used to not pumping and nursing at night, I got up in the beginning to pump, but after a few nights of not doing that, I’ve gotten used to it. Things are VERY full in the morning though, you might need to pump after you nurse if you’re still on the fuller side and things are a little sore. It hasn’t effected my milk supply at all, I still get about the same, I just got more in the morning than I was getting.
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Hi there – I’m not going to offer any more advice because you’ve received lots of it and I know you’ll find what works for your family. I do want to reiterate what many have said though – that things will improve! I’m sure you’ve never met a 20 year old that doesn’t sleep through the night, or eat well (relatively speaking!), or walk, or talk….you’ll have these worries with each milestone. In the meantime enlist help wherever possible! Best of luck!
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First time posting, but I’ve been checking your blog for awhile. I have a 4 month old daughter and when she was a newborn, I asked myself a lot of the same questions you’re asking. Stay optimistic! Things are so much better even just a couple months later, and while I really believe every baby is different and that you should just do whatever works for your family, I found Babywise & The Baby Whisperer books to be extremely helpful in getting us on a routine and figuring out night sleep (naps are still wonky for my girl). I took bits and pieces of advice from both books and catered them to what worked best for us. You can even google ‘Baby Whisperer blog’ and find lots of helpful advice. But again, just because something works for someone, doesn’t mean it will fit your baby’s temperament and needs.
We moved our baby to her own crib in her room at about 1 month and then I slept in a guest bed in there too, but I would wake up at every little noise and assumed she just needed to be fed. It wasn’t until I started sleeping back in my room again a couple weeks later that she actually started sleeping through the night. Turns out, I was the problem, not her! Now I don’t hear her unless she cries and really needs something, but even that is rare and she’ll usually just start talking to herself around 7:30 or 8am then I wake up and we start our day. Once they get to a certain age, if you just keep feeding them every time they wake up, I think they’re more likely to keep doing that and being dependent on you instead of soothing themselves. It’s definitely easier to feed them back to sleep instead of soothing them, but unless you want to keep waking up often, doing the ‘more difficult’ thing will pay off in the end.
Just my several cents worth
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