September 11th
I haven’t thought about September 11th in a long time. Most years I ignore it because I’m so focused on missing my mom and the anniversary of her passing that comes up just a few weeks later. The fall was always my mom and my favorite season, and my favorite memories involve going to the farm, watching my brother play soccer, and walking over the crunchy fall leaves.
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This year, however, I can’t get September 11th out of my mind. I remember sitting in 8:30 Civ at Providence College and thinking the priest teaching class was trying to give us an example of something that could happen in today’s world that would be similar to the tragedy that had occurred in the piece of literature we were reading. It wasn’t until he said any students could leave who want to go call their families (we had a lot of kids from New York) that I understood something real had happened.
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I remember the feeling in the air. Today the weather feels exactly the same as it did that day. After Civ I rushed up to the 3rd floor of McVinney and ran to my room where I flipped on the news and stared, horrified. The girls around the floor all piled into one room as we sat in silence and watched the tower fall. Their faces watching the TV are etched into my brain.
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My mom was really sick at the time, and while this giant tragedy was happening around me, I was still so focused on her and the fact that she was dying. I had just understood, two days prior on my 18th birthday, that she wouldn’t recover. September 11th and my mom being sick will always be an intertwined memory in my mind. When I visited her the next day, her eyes were aglow and she was anxious. Her eyes were darting around and she seemed so nervous. No one told her about September 11th. We didn’t need to worry her with such news in her last days. But she knew. When she awoke and her eyes were wild, she kept mentioning how he wouldn’t let her in. The lines were too long. So many people died and they wouldn’t let her in because of the lines.
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I still get chills remembering that moment today. I distracted her by telling her about a boy I met in class. I lied and told her he had asked me out, but in reality I had just met him. It wasn’t until I was deep into my fabricated story that she finally relaxed and shut her eyes, taking some rest.
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I purposely avoid blogging and all social media on September 11th. Something bothers me about all the posts, but then I remember we all have a story. Today I can’t get mine out of my mind. We will always remember where we were in that moment; how the air smelled, who we were with, what we thought about it initially.
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We will never forget.
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In memory of all the heroes and victims of 9/11 I will be donating all ad revenue for the month of September. I haven’t decided which charity yet, so if you have any suggestions I will gladly take them.
Thanks for sharing this, Sabrina. I know it must be hard for you to remember and share with everyone.
We all have our own story of that day (we’ll never forget) and I am so sorry about your Mom. This year, you have one year of motherhood to celebrate and for that, and more, she surely is proud of you. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you for sharing your memories of September 11th with us. It must be so hard that while the world mourns a tragedy you are also dealing with your own personal tragedy.
Thanks for sharing your memories. I had literally the exact same experience – I’ve never heard anyone else who had the same reaction. I was also in my history class and I thought it was a demonstration or some sort of scenario and he wanted to see how we’d react. It took me a while to realize it was real.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sabrina. It brought tears to my eyes, but also showed me what a strong woman you are. Thinking of you.
Beautiful <3
Thanks for sharing, Sabrina.
I am really sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine loosing my mum.
Thanks for sharing this, the story is incredible and incredibly sad.
This is a really beautiful post Sabrina.
So touching Sabrina. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing this. Thinking of you…
Sabrina. I often read your blog and relate to you because you have lost your mother and I have too. I always appreciate your honesty with how you feel. This is no exception. I hope the next few weeks bring more happiness then sadness with the memories. Which I know is not always possible.
And adding, in my mind, to the irony of reading this and relating a little too much. I lost my mother on 9/11/01 she worked in the second tower. Thank you for sharing as always.
As a avid reader, but not a commenter, I was moved today to put in a plea for a charity. As new Mom’s I think we sometimes forget how lucky we are to have healthy babies. I’ve been following the story of little Easton Friedel a baby who is battling EB “the worst disease you’ve never heard of” it would be wonderful to donate to this charity and get the word out about EB.
http://www.debra.org/
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story.