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I’m challenging myself this June.
I decided to challenge myself to not buy anything for the month of June. It is really really hard! I have two exceptions – one is food of course and the other is anything I need for entertaining. With our mermaid lagoon backyard I knew I would have to allow myself to buy paper plates, grill brush etc. I’m only 12 days in and it is really, really hard.
Here are my thoughts so far:
1. I didn’t realize how much I buy on impulse.
I went to Target with the girls this morning. I had a list of 5 things. I needed my Skippy natural peanut butter which isn’t sold at Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s since it isn’t so natural. It’s something I won’t give up though and I’ve been eating it for at least a decade now even though it contains added sugar. I also needed some snack bars for the kids and pretzels and lemons. Easy peasy! Well I got sucked into the displays and suddenly felt myself “needing” Incredible 2 Kleenex boxes and new beach purses for the girls and a new pair of shorts to run in. I managed to leave with only buying hair elastics in addition to my list. This challenge is hard!
2. I really, really hate stuff.
I think our generation is far too sucked into consumerism. We have loads of trash, but lots of cheap junk instead of a few high quality things, and we think of things as more disposable than not. I often go to buy something new instead of trying to find something within my home to use instead. I’m trying to change this about myself because I hate clutter and stuff and pride myself on not collecting tons. This is challenging with four kids who have four birthdays and like different types of clothing and participate in different sports and activities. I’m always working on it though.
3. Online clothes shopping-browsing for my kids is a stress reliever for me.
Some people indulge in ice cream or go for a run when they feel stress. I go online and look at children’s clothing. It’s very bizarre but also strangely satisfying. My kids only have about 12 outfits + pajamas and swimsuits in their current sizes, but if I didn’t constantly stay aware of my relaxing habit I would be out of control. I have challenged myself to not even browse, and that has been harder than not spending money. I never have a problem not buying, but the browsing is what relaxes me. I am surprised, embarrassed, and curious about this.
4. Food is expensive.
I thought that I had been spending too much money on random things like plants and Target impulse purchases. In reality this family eats a lot of food and I spend a lot of money on it. We dine out one lunch a week and do one delivery or dine out for dinner once a week over the summer. I am really surprised at how much I spend on food for us.
I’m kind of embarrassed to share both that I’m doing this challenge (because I shouldn’t need to) and that it’s been so difficult for me. I already have the habit of adding items to my Amazon cart but making myself wait 24 hours before pressing the “buy” button. Not adding anything to the cart at all has added a new and interesting challenge. I am curious to see how it goes the rest of the month.
Now that I’m done having kids I’m ready to work on some self development. I don’t want to stay the same forever and I like the growth that happens from challenges like this. Other resolutions for 2018 include going on a date with my husband twice a month, which we have achieved so far. And I also am trying to learn to speak Spanish better. With my Italian knowledge base I can get by in Spanish, but I’d like to become fluent over the next two years.
Are you working on any challenges this year? Share!
How we chose the name Daniela Grace
Over the last few weeks I’ve written drafts of posts here and then delete them. As my kids get older I am more careful about what I share on the internet. Odds are they will never read my little personal blog one day in the future, but I’m careful anyway.
Anyhoozles. Let’s talk about baby D. For one, my husband has nicknamed her “smelly danielee” just because it’s fun to say. Poor thing. Also, people keep spelling her name with 2 “Ls” but her name only has 1, like the Italian spelling of Daniela and how my auntie spells it.
Photo by Azzolina Photography
Why did I name her after my auntie? Well, for one my cousins (her kids) both agreed it would be ok. That was important to us. And auntie Daniela has been one of the most important women in my life from day 1. When my mom was alive I always called auntie Daniela my second mom because we were like two families living as one. My brother and auntie’s son are only a few weeks apart in age, and my cousin Rawan and I are only 4 months apart in age. We were like sisters, and they were like brothers, and we were often like one big family.
I remember one time, way before cell phones entered the world, I had gone to the Wrentham outlets with my brother and parents. We shopped at Polo where I got my first Polo shirt and skirt and my mom let me wear them out of the store. An hour later who did we run into? My cousins and auntie and uncle! At the outlets! And Rawan’s mom had bought her the same exact outfit and Rawan left the store wearing it too! It was such a weird coincidence and my whole life has been like that.
Since my mom passed away, auntie Daniela has held an even more important role in my life. She and my auntie Grace have always been great examples for me of smart, capable women who can make the world move. So it made sense to name our last child after them both – Daniela Grace. I look to both my auntie Daniela and auntie Grace as examples of how I want to live my own life, from how they keep their kitchens (pristine and organized) to how they entertain (everything is perfect to a T) to how they dress (they look put together even when dressed down).
Now that my mom is on my brain, I might as well share a few thoughts about her. Soon I will have lived as many years without her as with her. She passed away when I was 18, and I’ll be 36 in a couple of years. It is crazy to me to think about how much she has shaped who I am and how I live my life when I had her for so few years. It’s also crazy that despite only having a couple of photos of her and no videos, my children feel like they know her. Alessandra prays for her every time we pass a church or cemetery, and Raffi recounts stories of things my mom did when I was younger as though he was there. He tells the story of the time we went to the beach and it started pouring so my mom took my friends and I to the movies spur of the moment instead. He talks about how my mom loved eating potato chips while watching a movie on a rainy day. He will comment, as I’m making breaded chicken, about how I always helped my mom bread it when I was a kid. Both he and Alessandra will remind me that my mom always played Monopoly with me, even when she had vacuuming to do or errands to run. And that she always had some fun idea up her sleeve. I sometimes forget things about my mom, and I love that I’ve shared enough with my children for them to remind me.
I struggled with this fourth child. I was nervous to have her and nervous to see how our family would change. But wow has it been a blessing! The older kids have become so close to one another and they all love doting on their baby sister. When I’m having a hard day I remind myself that we are giving them a great gift – siblings! They will be a force in life and long after my husband and I are gone they will have one another. And I’m so thankful for that.
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