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Health and your partner, Part I of II
How many of you feel that your exercise plan is derailed week after week because your boyfriend/fiance/spouse/partner doesn’t want you spending the time or makes other plans for you? Or you feel it is a point of tension between you two? Come on, I know there are lots of you out there!!
When PB and I first met I wasn’t sure how into fitness and eating well he was. He looked really good, but he is also a hardworking attorney and involved a lot in church, so I didn’t know how much free time he had for leisurely runs (and bread from scratch, for that matter).
At first we would talk about our great exercise plans, but neither of us really stuck to it. I would decide to stay home and chat on the phone all night with him (and it would be cold and dark by the time exercise time came around) and he… well, I don’t know what he did but he also wasn’t really exercising that much.
Fast forward 20 months later and we exercise together every weekend we are in the same town. We even tell each other how good or bad our workouts are during the week! For example, yesterday I rocked a 3.5 mile run on the dreadmill at the gym (less than a 9:00 minute pace, which is awesome for me for over 3 miles) and couldn’t wait to tell him! PB, on the other hand, got lazy and skipped. (How’s that for throwing him under the bus?!?) We both look forward to the day we can get up at sunrise, in the same place, head downstairs for a quick run together, and then head to work.
I really feel that without him motivating me with words and his own workouts (and literally dragging me outside to run with him sometimes), I wouldn’t have been able to reach the fitness goals that I have. Or to continue reaching the ones I have now.
Having someone to keep you accountable and also to be there by your side can have some great positive influences! Sometimes I get annoyed with PB when he tries to make me exercise, but afterwards I am always thankful!!!!
I’d also like to add that I have learned it is in my best interest to exercise at least 4 times a week… bare minimum..PB has learned that about me too… because when I don’t, I become a very crazy lady. I am mean and annoyed all the time and generally grumpy.
as in.. I go from this:
to this:
Does that happen to anyone else?
Do you and your hunny exercise together? Do you find that he or she motivates you to work harder and exercise more consistently? I love having my own personal cheerleader AND team member all in one.
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Definitely motivated by my wife. having a buddy to exercise with, or give you a raised eyebrow when you go back for those chips, is like having a little man in your head saying “you know what’s good for you, do it already.” We all get weak from time to time, helping each other out is invaluable!
It’s funny to hear you say it, because we were in a long distance relationship at first, and our workouts had the exact same flavor… now we bought a treadmill and are working out in the morning, alternating who uses the gym while the other watches the baby. Soon enough, she’ll be working out with us too!
oh i run into a rut when i am with my boy too much. he works out, but not as much and at night he prefers to lay around on the couch. if i am watching tv i like to be doing something at the same time like push ups or yoga and i always feel silly about doing it in front of him… i should really get over that!!!!
A little off topic here…..you mentioned that PB is an Attorney in Philly. I work outside of Philly as a Paralegal. Is his firm hiring? I would appreciate it if I could forward my resume for him.
veconomist and i never work out together. we did when we first started dating, but he hates the gym and just prefers to use his weight bench at home . when i announce i’m too lazy to work out, though, he begs me to go to the gym because he knows how GRUMPY i will be if I don’t ! I always thank him for the extra push later on.
We totally helped each other gain 20 pounds a piece for the first year we dated! (ugh!) All we wanted to do was go out to dinner and drink bottles of wine and lay around all day together! It was so good but yet so bad!
Since then (the last two years) we’ve really been pushing each other to work out more and it’s been great. We haven’t gotten to the point where we work out together, but we go to the gym at the same time on the weekends. Our schedules are a bit different during the week so it’s hard to align on that. Our next step is to really work on eating better (hence why I’m following your blog!) and cooking more meals.
Great story!
My boyfriend works out regularly and is very supportive of my attempts to lead a healthy lifestyle. We are in separate states (booo academics!) but in the summer we bike and walk almost everywhere! I’ve totally stopped considering that exercise just because it’s so fun 🙂
Great post!
Bill does not work out regularly, and what he enjoys doing completely varies from what I enjoy. However, he did run a 5K with me over the weekend (his first ever), so I think we may be on the upswing in terms of exercising together?? It also seems like we exercise a lot more together in the summer than any other season. Not sure why?
Regardless – I have found one thing to be true: I always value the time we do exercise together. I used to get all down and grouchy about it – and blame him for not losing weight, etc. etc. when it’s as much scheduling as anything else.
I have a similar situation to yours – everything you described was dead on. It’s so nice to have the companionship, but it’s also hard when I don’t work out just because Andrew doesn’t want to. I’ve learned how to put my exercise first though, and it’s never been better. I agree with the 4-5 times a week AT LEAST….or else I go crazy. 🙂
Endorphins are amazing little things.
kaneil, balanceisbest
One of the first dates my fiance and I ever went on was a gym date. First of all, it was a gratuitous display of muscles on his side when he took his sweatshirt off and I will always, always tease him for it!
The workout date was really eye-opening and though I had picked out a cute outfit, I was really sweaty and dead by the time we got through our workout. He showed me how do lift weights properly and I loved having my own personal trainer.
Now that we are both in grad school and planning a wedding with two very demanding jobs, we still try to workout together. I jump in and do a few weight sets with him at the gym. We also recently bought bikes and love going on long rides.
It’s amazing having somebody to push you and encourage you. I have also changed my eating patterns since I can’t exactly explain how I fit an entire box of cookies in- that would just be immature!
exercising definitely keeps me in a better mood!
i don’t have a man haha BUT if I did AND ever do i know that I’ll have to find someone who shares a similar interest in being healthy its such a big part of my life and who i am that i couldnt imagine not being able to share that with him!
Hey! I have a Philly Boy too! He is up there, and I am down in VA/DC area. We do the distance thing, and make an effort to work out during our weekends together, but it never really goes that well. We are at different levels. I am hardcore about my running these days, and he want’s to go out and only do one mile. I am like “minimum 3 miles!” Doesn’t go very well. I wish we could run races together and all that jazz, but it isn’t there yet.
Maybe one day!
you two are a match 🙂
for me, with my husband and in all arenas, Ive found that Im farfar better with him than I am alone.
we bring out the best in eachother and thats so important IMO.
I think I am better without my boy. He hates to gym but loves to walk outside, so he will often convince me to skip the gym and walk outside with him instead. I guess that is better than no exercise but I never feel as good afterward as I do if I get in a good sweaty workout at the gym
Charlie doesn’t exercise AT ALL – I am on my own with the fitness and healthy eating. He’s not a huge junk eater so our cabinets are not stocked with that stuff but he does like to indulge from time to time. Funny thing is, I met him at the gym and he used to workout. He really has no motivation and I have tried very hard to light the fire under his butt – it’s just not hot enough I guess. It seems like your Husband-to-Be and you have a great relationship. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
I am definitely the one that reminds my husband that he needs to work out. He really hates it so he doesn’t do it much. It’s very strange for me, because it’s such a huge part of my life… and yes, sometimes its a point of contention between us but he knows it’s important to me so we typically make it work. Recently, though, he started doing the Shred dvds with me and that is a lot of fun. Sometimes just having another person there, expecting to work out with you, is all the motivation you need. I think it’s great that PB makes you work out sometimes, because he knows you’ll thank him later 🙂
My husband and I motivate each other, but we rarely work out together because we are on different time schedules.